Today I had a student keep track of all the interruptions during my 7th period class, because there seem to be a lot and it is throwing my teaching off. I was curious how many there actually were. Celease counted:

12 Intercom announcements
5 Bells
2 phone calls
1 person walking in to deliver something (plus a student bringing me a cupcake, but I didn't have her count that one :))

That totals 20 times during one class--granted this class is longer than others, with silent reading time included--that we had to pause what we were doing, our attention was broken and we had to then get back on track. Let me tell you, 6th graders are not easy to keep on track at the end of the day. I am getting frustrated with all of the interruptions! The strange thing is, today, with the student keeping track and the other students conscious that these were interruptions and our learning shouldn't be interrupted, they actually got off track less. Crazy. Anyway, I think I might have a different kid keep track for a week and just see what the average is. I am going to use the data to try and push for some different systems for next year within the school. If we really are prioritizing student achievement, and students have consequences for interferring with learning, there won't be 20 interruptions in one class period.

Maybe, just maybe, it is possible to get my students so invested in learning that they do not even flinch at an announcement, but the truth is, i lose my train of thought when i have to pause mid sentence for a few seconds. Maybe I am just venting about things that are out of my control because i like to blame things on other people. maybe it would be better if i just focused on the things that are under my control. ah. there are a lot of those. things i could do better. such is life as a first year teacher. my brain is mush and my post is quickly deteriorating into a stream of consciousness narrative. I'd say it's time for me to get out of here!

Sponsor Letter

I had to write this letter to my sponsor--someone who has contributed financially to Teach For America, but I figured that these reflections might have a place on my blog....

Ms. Carolyn Burns
350 S. 118th Ave.
Avondale, AZ 85323

Dear Mr. Leinweber,

Thank you for supporting Teach For America and my classroom. As the end of the school year approaches, I have been reflecting on what this year has meant for my students and I. All of us have come a long way in these past 9 months. The gains we have made together would not have been possible without your support.

At the beginning of the year I set a goal for my students that they would make a gain of 9 points on the 6 Traits of Writing rubric. Students can score from a 1 to a 6 on each trait, for a total score of up to 36. I chose this goal because it is based on growth, rather than expecting students starting at a wide range of levels to reach a given score. This ensures that our goal is both feasible for all students, and ambitious for those students starting out at a higher level. My students have been tracking their progress in their writing folders, so with each writing project they can see how they have progressed towards their goal.

Many of my students began the year without being able to write a basic paragraph. Even some of my students with high language abilities struggled to organize their writing. I would read a paragraph that covered such a broad range of topics it would leave my head spinning! From the first time I had them attempt to write an essay I knew we would have to go back to the beginning to learn to organize writing. We worked with pre-writing techniques, practiced connecting main ideas to relevant details. My class has been centered on equipping my students with the tools they need to take their excellent ideas, rich experiences, and wonderful senses of humor and communicating them in a way that makes sense to a reader.

This work has not been easy. We have all had moments of frustration. There were times when my instruction just wasn’t making sense to my students. Other times, I was the one left clueless as to how to understand the behavior of 11 and 12 year olds caught in the transition between childhood and adolescence. Sometimes I have felt as if I was pulling teeth just trying to get some of my students to put a pen to their paper.

Though sometimes it has felt as if we were working against each other rather than together, my students and I have worked hard. Through this hard work we have found success. Success when my students apply the skills I have taught them. Moments when they have tracked their growth on a specific writing trait and I know that, not only has their writing improved, but they feel confident in their abilities. We have also been successful in understanding the importance and relevance of being an excellent writer.

One particular afternoon one of my 6th graders asked, in response to a conversation we were having as a class, “Ms. Burns, you mean that we can change the world through our writing?” This is what I have been trying to communicate to my students in so many ways. To hear Celease articulate this message so clearly was like music to my ears.

This first year of teaching has been challenging in a multiplicity of ways. First, I have learned what it means to work harder than I have ever worked before and continue to feel like I am failing—and despite that, to keep working to be successful. By continuing to work, I have developed professional knowledge and skills. I have learned to relate to the pre-teens that I work with. I have learned how to respond to a wide range of parents—with wide-ranging questions, concerns and priorities. I have also developed a strong understanding of many of the issues that plague our education system. As I move forward, I continue to develop a sense of what needs to be done to address some of the challenges that we face. This year has changed me, and I feel that I have found my passion and my calling in effecting change in education. For this opportunity, I am filled with gratitude.

I cannot begin to express my gratitude for your support for Teach For America and my classroom. Knowing that you and others like you are committed to our work, to our schools and to our students reminds me that “One day all children in this nation will have the opportunity to attain an excellent education.” Thank you.

Sincerely,


Ms. Carolyn Burns
6th Grade Language Arts
Collier Elementary School

Spring has Sprung

We have entered the fourth quarter here at Collier Elementary School. The weather has turned warm. Today's high is supposed to reach 90. The pool looks more and more appealing every day. I feel that I, along with my students, have a little case of spring fever. This is balanced, to a certain degree, with a sense of urgency and possibility regarding what my students have left to learn this year. Some of the writing skills that we have been working on all year are finally starting to show up in their products. It is extremely exciting whenever I realize that maybe, just maybe, my students are learning something from me. Those moments of excitement are tempered by those of panic when I realize how close we are to the end of the year and how far it feels that we still have to go.

Today a student asked me "what is a conclusion?" While this question at this point in the year hurt me to my very core, I was saved from falling into the depths of despair by the student sitting next to him who looked at him with disbelief and said "are you serious? this is what we've been doing, like, the entire year." The student went on the explain to the other student what a conclusion is.

After seeking the advice of the school counselor, I believe I am finally getting an idea of how to handle oppressive statements that I overhear my students making. During my last class today one of my spaciest, yet favorite, students stated to the person next to him "whoever made that must be gay." He was referring to a little paper folded hat that was found in the classroom. I called my student over to my desk and gently, quietly asked him what he had just said. I prompted him by restating the beginning of his sentence. He looked at me and repeated what he had said. I explained to him that some of the people that I love are gay and that they have been teased by people calling them gay and that it isn't a word that should just be thrown around all the time. I asked him if the paper hat had anything to do with whether boys liked boys and girls liked girls or girls liked boys and boys liked girls. I then explained that there really is no reason to use that word in that context and that there were many other words that could be used that would be hurtful to no one. I told him I understood that it was common for students to throw the word "gay" around in contexts where it can be hurtful, but that because I know he is not a hurtful, mean person, I would expect that he would try to find other words to use. I asked him to come up with a word that he could have used instead. I told him to stay int he chair next to me while he thought about it, and after he had come up with one he could tell me and then go back to his chair.

This approach seemed much more appropriate and constructive than my angry, punitive approach. I KNOW that hurtful language has no place in a classroom, but it is challenging to determine one's response. I want students to truly understand WHY and HOW language can be hurtful. I found that when I was punitive students simply got defensive and shut down. They never understood what I was talking about, they only understood that saying this certain word is "bad." Which is not at all what I was looking for.

I think that as I continue I will find more, effective, sensitive, constructive ways to handle words that stem from and lead to hate, and I also know that I will probably botch some situations.

Apart from this particular topic, I feel that I am beginning to figure out my "teacher self," or at least determine what I want my teacher self to be. This week I had a realization that I stress out way too easily...I didn't even realize that when my classroom was not running the way that I want it to, that I physically, mentally, and emotionally, take on a huge amount of anxiety. I believe that something has clicked where I have finally seen another way to be. To realize that what is happening is, in fact, happening, and that sometimes when dealing with children, things do not go as planned. I need to learn how to be stern and strict and to show my kids that i am not pleased without actually taking that on myself. I also just realized that I completely base my self worth and sense of success on how my classroom runs...and therefore I am ultimately motivated by myself and my own need to feel good about myself, rather than my students. In reflecting I realize that I need to get back to my students and their needs in order to be the most effective instructor I can be.

Phew. I have written a lot. It is crazy how just writing this down can help me reflect and make my realizations more concrete. I have been starting to journal again, but that tends to be of a more personal nature. When I sit down and deeply reflect on my practice as a teacher, I believe it helps me to feel centered and focused. This leads me to feel more purposeful and powerful to improve myself and be more successful. There is also something about reflection that can lead me to have more patience. I have to tell you, there are so many times during each day that I lose patience with my students. Sometimes it is important for them to realize that they are being ridiculous and causing me to lose my patience, but other times I have to recognize that situations would be handled better with an extra tablespoon of patience.

It is Wednesday afternoon and my students have been gone for two hours. I am still in my classroom. I intended to sit and grade papers and give students feedback on their writing. I believe that I must spend a little more time doing this. I have been pushing my high class to write more and to take some writing home as homework. I think this is good for them and makes my class more rigorous. The downside to having students write more is that in order for it to be purposeful, you really should give them timely feedback on their writing. SO I suppose I will spend another little while reading student work. To tell you the truth, I really do like reading their writing. It can be pretty entertaining.

If you made it this far I am pretty impressed and perhaps a little apologetic that I rambled so much. Send me prayers, positive thoughts, good luck, whatever the case may be, for more patience and dedication for my students as we finish out the last 8 weeks of school.

Attitude...with a capital A

WOW! What a rough week. It turns out that just like they can be amazing, 6th graders can be terrible little creatures when they want. I decided I needed to crack down on my students by consistently using our management system. It backfired in my face! Some of my students just don't respond to it well at all. Some of them check out, refuse to check back in and the day ends up being all about management instead of learning. This reminds me that regardless of what people have told me, I have to adapt my management techniques to different classes and different students. Friday finally got better. Some of my students and classes are needing more positive feedback...others are needing me to be more strict and hold them accountable--in a more real way than the management system that some just don't buy into.

It is a constant learning experience. As soon as I get one thing figured out, there is something new to work on. I think this is true of almost everything in life, but especially in teaching. I think/hope this week will be better. The math teacher and I did one day of lunch detention to make one of my classes do the work from a class where they were punks and just messed around. We will continue this as needed. I also made some of them call their parents and explain their behavior. The joys of working with little cherubs just beginning to go through puberty!

THis week we are starting writer's workshop, which means that I teach a mini-lesson and then the students get to chose their own writing projects to apply them. I am still working out how the logistics will work in the context of my classroom and given my students and how they work. That is a project for this afternoon. I am sure there will have to be some adapting as we go, but I think student motivation will increase a lot when they get to choose their own topics.

It is almost noon, which means, time to head out to a coffee shop to spend the afternoon planning! It is actually a pretty nice little ritual :)

On becoming a better teacher

Disclaimer--"better" in no way implies "good."

Four main things are helping me to make strides in the right direction. I really believe that all 4 of these things are leading my students to achieve more and more each day.

1. Balance. Trying to take care of myself, and spend less than 12 hours at school every day. Leaving more school stuff at school. I bought a bike! I went backpacking last weekend!

2. Organization. I've figured out some systems that actually work for me and my students that are reducing the crazy hurricane of papers in my room...thereby reducing my stress level.

3. Smaller Classes. We got a new teacher at semester, so our class sizes are more normal. This has helped in a myriad of ways. The most notable is that there are few enough kids in my classroom at any given time that I can begin to see their individual needs. Next step: actually address their needs. A big part of this has been to shift my mindset from thinking that my trouble students had behavior issues to realizing (with the help of my PD) that they are so far behind that they don't understand my instruction. It is better to be rebellious than to be labeled stupid. It turns out that I need to break things down MUCH farther for some of my classes and not rush things so much.

4. Differentiation. This is directly tied to number 3. Break things down for the kids that need it, provide extension work for the kids who are bored. Now I am better able to do this because I am not so overwhelmed by simply teaching the same thing to everyone.

I feel like something has clicked. I may actually be on my way to becoming competent. Let's not count any chickens just yet...

I still miss my friends and family in Oregon immensely. I wish more of you could come and visit and that everyone could spend at least one day with me and my kiddos in my classroom. It is such a funny place and they are so hilariously wonderful (and sometimes terrible). I really do count my blessings for getting to work with them. I only wish I was better and more each day to be able to give them what they need.

A semester passed

I complete my first semester as a teacher tomorrow!!! WOW! I was looking around at some other first year TFAs yesterday afternoon and I realized how much OLDER we seem now than we did 5 months ago. We don't look so shiny and obviously new. We are a small bit wiser, but mostly more tired and worn out. Though we live in the valley of the sun, we are all very pale from all the hours we spend under fluorescent lights.

Somehow, I am starting to feel more comfortable as my teacher self. I am starting to realize that I can handle difficult situations when they come my way. This morning, as my students were coming in, somehow one of my students ended up being knocked to the floor and for a minute couldn't seem to get up. He even started crying. All the while I am trying to get my other students to settle in and get their work out. I found myself standing over Bryan on the floor while looking up and counting down for my other students to be at their desks in between asking Bryan if he is ok. Luckily, Bryan is my tiniest little student, so i could just pick him up to get him on his feet once i realized he wasn't seriously injured. Never a dull moment.

Yesterday afternoon I decided, based on a recommendation from a Program Director, that I needed more face time with my Spanish speaking parents. So, I decided to go to the houses of a couple of my...i guess you could say...challenging students. I called ahead and was able, with 2 hours notice, to be able to sit down with both parents and the student at each house. It was great. I think we made some progress. The students, I think, were shocked that I actually came to their house. I made it very clear to them that I was there because I know how smart they are and I want to help them do better because they are fully capable of more. I also made it clear that I was tired of them disrupting my class. We made some plans...rewards and consequences. They both did much better today. We will see how long it lasts...but i think they know that i will have their moms sitting in class with them if they don't shape up...and i will be back at their houses if i have to. Today one of them earned being able to stay after school. Isn't that funny? FOr him, detention is a reward rather than a punishment. I should do this home visit thing more often...

I have to get out of here! SO much grading to do, but it is all at my house.

hasta luego

ups and downs

My students wrote very formulaic 5 paragraph essays this week about their place in the family. I am going to write a blog post in the format that my students used:

Mrs. Nehs showed up at my door and asked "there are 4 students out here in the hall who claim they are with you," I look out in to the hall to see that, yes indeed, 4 of the students I was helping during my lunch hour, were standing sheepishly in the hallway. It was clear that they knew they had done something wrong. I teach Reading and writing to 130 11 and 12 year olds. Each day brings many new challenges and rewards.
Classroom/student management is one of my greatest challenges. I am constantly trying to figure out the best way to get my students to stay on task, finish their work, not throw things, not call out, not shoot each other with rubber bands, take care of the classroom, be respectful towards each other, walk in a straight line without talking. The list could go on forever. Each day I figure out new things that work and encounter new classroom management challenges.
Teaching effective lessons, aside from the classroom management side, is another one of my challenges. Some days, I feel like my students really understand what I am trying to teach them. Other days, I see blank stares and I wonder if I will ever learn to communicate in 6th grade language. I am also challenged to write engaging lessons that wont bore my students to tears. Facilitating student learning is one of my greatest challenges.
With so many challenges, one might ask, "why do you come back each day?" There are moments. There are days. THere are times when I believe that my students are really learning. That they feel respected by me. That they grasp hold of their writing goals for the year and really want to achieve them. They know that I care about them and their learning. This is true for many of my students. Knowing that I am reaching students keeps me coming back each day.
Classroom management can be very tough. Presenting material in an engaging and understandable fashion is also challenging. Changing the lives of children, no matter how clique that sounds, makes all the challenges worthwhile. Being a 6th grade teacher is the hardest thing I have ever done, but I cannot imagine myself doing anything else right now.


There it is...perhaps my sentence fluency and word choice is a little higher level than my students, but that is the format that I am teaching them to use. They are a little overwhelmed, but they are getting it.